A Twilight Fanfiction!
by nelbyismasterofpenguins
Summary: Yea, pretty much just something random I threw together in 15 minutes. Includes ostriches, Calipari, General Larry Plant, and even AllApologies451994's made up character, Bert the Hobo! Don't go flaming me, I got her permission. Well, R&R! Oneshot.


**Yea, Seth ganged up with Emmett and stole the thingy under the title that shows what it's about, too... So.... Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any people, music, items, groups of people, most of the quotes, or if an ostrich shows up...Well, I don't own it either...**

OMG! Did you hear what Coach Calipari did for UK yester...... Oops, my bad! I'm supposed to tell y'all about that thing with the Twilighters. Anyways... let's begin! *clears throat*

....Okay, so it all started on a normal day in the Twilight world. Carlise was being a doctor, Esme was being a mommy, Bella, Edward, Nessie, and Jacob were having the usual daily conflict, Leah and Rosalie were making everyone miserable, so on and so on... Then there were Emmet, Quil, and Seth. Yea, you're right; This is where it gets to the story.

Emmet decided he wanted to go to the zoo. Quil wanted to go to an aquarium though. Seth didn't care as long as he got to go somewhere away from Leah. So they went to Wal-Mart. They were walking through the place just doing what ever, when Pablo showed up. (This is an inside joke, Pablo is a gay dude at our school, just to let you know so that there is no confusion.)

And when Pablo saw them, and he came running and he yelled "Like, OMG! You are, like, the best thing since sliced bread, like, what is your name?" Emmet was standing there scared half to death, and said very quietly and scaredly,

"Emmet...."

Pablo said "Omigosh! You're, like, my new BFF! My name is Pablo! OMG, do you like wanna come with me to get our nails done? 'Cause, like, I have an appointment for me and my bo, but he broke up with me!" then Pablo was mumbling something under his breath about someone named Little Johnny from 3rd grade leaving him for .

Emmet, even more afraid now, said in a shaky scared voice

"N-n-no, I'd rather not.."

Then out of no where Mr. Reid, Roger Roger, Nandrea, and I showed up. Nandrea and I gasped, and Roger Roger turned to . She looked at him funny for a while before saying "What the crap??? You said he went 'poof'!!"

They all looked at him pretty freaked out, and ran off. Emmet ran back home to Rosalie. Quil, while playing with the buttons on his shirt and his pet ostrich, Timmy, saw Claire and went back to La Push with her. Seth was in the music section, looking at stuff, and when Roger Roger, Nandrea, and I walked by.

He followed us 'cause we were awesomer than Pablo. Mr. Kitty had Little Johnny from the 3rd grade. General Larry Plant adopted an ostrich, sang Pants on the Ground to it. Seth, Roger Roger, and I got high off some stuff we found in bass pro shop while Nandrea was there dying laughing. Mr. Reid and the Kool-aid Man attacked Nandrea's pet turtle, Tyson. Pablo went off somewhere with Bert the hobo, and so on.

Then they all lived happily ever after!...Besides Leah. She never did. I mean, seriously. She didn't! Bert the hobo wouldn't even take her!! Anyways, Blah Blah Blah by Ke$ha plays, and I say in a very serious announcer voice.... THE END!

**A/N: Thanks for reading! I wrote this in like, 15 minutes, so don't get mad if it ain't any good. There are a lot of inside jokes in this, so if you have any questions, ideas, flames, whatever it is you have to review. O, and about my Elmo story... I will write the last two chapters of it ASAP! Read and review it too. O yea, and if you haven't already, check out AllApologies451994's stories cause she helps me a lot. Yea, I'm not too smart and I dunno how to do any of this so.. She's like my manager so.... Yea, I give credit to her..ThAnKs byez!!**

**Note from the beta (AllApologies451994): YES, it is I, your favorite Twilight fanfiction author, AllApologies451994! Yea, I'm the beta for this story... And as I read through this, I happened to come across a couple of inside jokes... Well, I'm not going to explain them to you! No, you have to review to get them! O yea, and no offense to all you gay people out there. Shelby doesn't support their rights, while I do. So please don't flame me, flame her. And yes, I'm encouraging you guys to flame her. ...Nah, just kidding. ...Or am I? :D**


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